Lars Denton, DVM

I was recently asked to write a fake press release about a veterinarian for a writing job i was applying for. I had fun with it, whether or not I get the job, I thought I'd share what I wrote:

Lars Denton, DVM, of Braintree, Ma is a world renowned veterinarian. He is perhaps best known for his work in genetics, specifically in creating new species of animals, having successfully fused elephant and giraffe DNA to create the girphant, the tallest and heaviest land mammal. In addition to his work in genetics, his animal hospital has won numerous awards for the quality of the care it provides and for the many successful experimental and lifesaving procedures they have performed on animals of all types over the last fifteen years.

Dr. Denton grew up in Arkansas and received his DVM from the University of Arkansas. He moved to Braintree with his wife, Sarah, in 1996 where they started DentCare for Animals. DentCare grew from a one room hospital with limited hours and only one veterinarian, to become the largest 24-Hour pet hospital in Massachusetts, with over six doctors on duty at all times.

In April of last year, Doctor Denton announced that Dentcare would be building a new wing at the hospital that would act as a dog and cat and exotic animal salon, complete with daycare services, full grooming for all species of animals, breeding, and overnight hotel accommodations for animals of all shapes and sizes. The grand opening for this wing will be this Saturday, October 1 at DentCare at 4567 E Radcliffe Lane in Braintree.

Dr. Denton does not believe that animals should be segregated; therefore tigers, cats, dogs, pigs and snakes will all be housed together in a harmonious earthly animal utopia.

Dr. Denton released this comment regarding the opening of the new wing via his Facebook page: “We are excited to be opening this salon. This has been a long time coming. Most salons in Massachusetts cater only to dogs and cats, but the need for the salon services for tigers, egrets, girphants, slothcows, black mambas and dizzy rhinos is growing. We’re excited to provide services for these animals!”

There will be clowns making balloon animals, a vegetarian barbecue, free nail trimmings and dental work for dogs and cats, a petting zoo, featuring the six week old girphant, Belle, and other exotic animals and raffles for free veterinary and salon care. The wing, Sarah Denton Memorial Animal Salon, named for the late Doctor Denton’s wife, whom was trampled to death by a girphant last March, officially opens for business on October 3^rd. Bring your family down this Saturday and check out this new memorial wing. The waiting list for salon services is expected to be six weeks long, so come early and sign up your pets! The festivities begin at noon.